ABOUT ME

I’m a 44 year old adoptee who’s experienced reunion as well as secondary rejection. I was relinquished at birth by my mother, and adopted at three days old. I was adopted by a nice family and given a loving home. But there were issues. Adoption was rarely discussed in my home. I felt I was to only be grateful, and not wish for my biological family. I struggled with confidence and feared rejection and abandonment in relationships. I’ve experienced reunion with my biological father who DID NOT know I existed. Reunion brought to life the loss of all those years. I never fully understood what I didn’t have until I finally held it in my heart. I’d spent 42 years thinking, wondering, wishing. I thought I’d combed over every emotion, feeling, possible. But different ones manifested once I met my birth family. It was joy combined with a new form of grief. I’ve reached out to my birth mother who refuses to acknowledge me. I’ve discovered the healing power of verbalizing feelings which I’ve held inside all these years. I believe those who adopt need to understand the importance of being educated on the psyche of an adoptee. They need to fully understand the trauma associated with being given away no matter what age it occurs. It is imperative that adopted parents talk openly about this with adoptees. To acknowledge the trauma and address the grief that accompanies the loss of a biological family helps to unlock your authenticity. Adoptees have an identity aside of their adopted family. It needs to be nourished and accepted. I’m very lucky to have a supportive husband who cheers me on as I journey. In addition, I have two amazing daughters who love and support me, and have learned that life isn’t always wrapped up in a pretty little package. I love writing. It’s the only way I express my thoughts.

Published by Leigh Bailey

I'm a 44 year old adoptee who's experienced reunion as well as secondary rejection. I was relinquished at birth by my mother, and adopted at three days old. I was adopted by a nice family and given a loving home. But there were issues. Adoption was rarely discussed in my home. I felt I was to only be grateful, and not wish for my biological family. I struggled with confidence and feared rejection and abandonment in relationships. I've experienced reunion with my biological father who DID NOT know I existed. I've reached out to my birth mother who refuses to acknowledge me. I've discovered the healing power of verbalizing feelings which I've held inside all these years. I believe those who adopt need to understand the importance of being educated on the psyche of an adoptee. They need to fully understand the trauma associated with being given away no matter what age it occurs. It is imperative that adopted parents talk openly about this with adoptees. To acknowledge the trauma and address the grief that accompanies the trauma of losing your family helps to unlock your authenticity. Adoptees have an identity aside of their adopted family. It needs to be nourished and accepted. I'm very lucky to have a supportive husband who cheers me on as I journey. In addition, I have two amazing daughters who love and support me and have learned that life isn't always wrapped up in a pretty little package.

One thought on “ABOUT ME

  1. I love your blog posts! I am adopted also and I share many of the same feelings that you seem to. I hope you do not mind that I shared a post of yours on my blog! Thank you for being you…

    Liked by 1 person

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